Today I found out the results of my Oncotype test. My number: 14. That means that I will not be having chemo, as the Cancer agency doesn't offer it for anyone with a score under 17.
My results included a graph that shows my 10 year distance recurrence with Tamoxifen, and the recurrence with Tamoxifen and chemo. For Tamoxifen alone, the recurrence rate is about 9%. So, a one in ten chance that I will have a distance recurrence. Adding in chemo would have reduced that another 2%, to about 7%.
Would I have gone ahead with the chemo for a 2% reduction? Probably yes. But I know that would have been a purely emotional response. I know the risks of chemo would have outweighed the benefits. It would not have been a rational decision, so it's probably best it was taken out of my hands. I know I should be excited about the 9% (everyone else seemed ecstatic about it) but it was hard to see those numbers in black and white. Despite everything - the pills and the surgery - there is still that chance it could come back. There isn't any number aside from zero that would have made me happy, honestly. Don't get me wrong - I'm very, very grateful it wasn't higher. I know that in the big scheme of things, that 9% is "good". But it's still hard to wrap my head around. Cancer is such a terrible experience that I cringe at the thought of ever hearing those words again. So I would have done anything to make that less likely.
My results included a graph that shows my 10 year distance recurrence with Tamoxifen, and the recurrence with Tamoxifen and chemo. For Tamoxifen alone, the recurrence rate is about 9%. So, a one in ten chance that I will have a distance recurrence. Adding in chemo would have reduced that another 2%, to about 7%.
Would I have gone ahead with the chemo for a 2% reduction? Probably yes. But I know that would have been a purely emotional response. I know the risks of chemo would have outweighed the benefits. It would not have been a rational decision, so it's probably best it was taken out of my hands. I know I should be excited about the 9% (everyone else seemed ecstatic about it) but it was hard to see those numbers in black and white. Despite everything - the pills and the surgery - there is still that chance it could come back. There isn't any number aside from zero that would have made me happy, honestly. Don't get me wrong - I'm very, very grateful it wasn't higher. I know that in the big scheme of things, that 9% is "good". But it's still hard to wrap my head around. Cancer is such a terrible experience that I cringe at the thought of ever hearing those words again. So I would have done anything to make that less likely.