To be honest it's starting to wear me down a little. Lately there hasn't been much time for me. When work gets busy, usually self-care is the first thing out the window. For example, today was a beautiful day but I didn't get a run in. Aside from some errands and groceries, most of the day was spent staring at my computer screen. Not good!
The worst part is, I'm sure I'm not even productive after a certain point. I think I'm just sitting at my computer so that I feel like I'm doing something, instead of walking around with a general sense of panic. It's like I think even doing work at a snail's pace is better than stopping it altogether, although if I stopped and refreshed I would probably get more done overall. (Now that I write out that theory, I can't help but think I'm sort of an idiot.)
To help me get a better grip on my time, I bought a weekly calendar. I thought it would help to plan out my weeks - schedule in my obligations as well as my "me" time. I'm curious as to what I'm saying yes to - and how often that yes is really a yes (as in "this is something I want to do!") and how often it's a grudging yes (because I feel like I should). I have a few theories:
First, I suspect I'm saying yes to more things that are obligations than things I really want to do. Maybe seeing it in black and white will help me develop better boundaries.
Second, my hunch is that scheduling in me time will make it more likely to happen, because I can plan for it.
And third, that if I can plan for me time and start to plan defined (and dwindling) amounts of overtime, I might just be more productive overall. Instead of always feeling like I need to be working, I can get the most out of my scheduled time. Because as the book Factory of One pointed out, there is no catching up. I will never be caught up. The nature of knowledge work is that there is always more. More, more, more. So the overtime - all the extra hours - is (for the most part) going into a vortex. Not really adding value, not making a difference in the big scheme of things. And life is too precious to throw hours willy-nilly into the vortex!