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Today I had a chance to connect with one of my colleagues Carla. Carla is a breast cancer survivor who has been through it all - radiation, chemotherapy, mastectomy and reconstruction. She offered to sit down with me and talk if I wanted, which was so thoughtful.
It's been a few years since her cancer experience but she said she still found it hard to deal with the emotional side, although she could discuss the technical details more easily. Unlike me, her cancer was not caught in early stages. She had discovered a lump but because she didn't fit the profile for breast cancer, it went unchecked for a year. It makes me realize that it can be random luck of the draw that you get a physician who does the appropriate follow up. It's so easy to just fall through the cracks. And while I don't know about Carla's experience, I do think it's easy for women to feel like they "shouldn't make a fuss" or to be uncomfortable asking a lot of questions. It's hard to be your own advocate, but at the same time - if we had a system that worked, it wouldn't be necessary either.
It was good to hear about the logistic details from someone who has been through the experience in the same health care system. The internet is good for finding information but it doesn't necessarily match. Some sites say you can expect to have drains in for up to 2 weeks, others say they're only in for a couple days. It's hard to know what to expect. And also an honest answer about how much pain it might involve. Again, pain can be different for every person but it helps to have kind of a "ballpark" so to speak.
Mostly it was just nice to talk to someone who really, truly understands what I'm going through. I appreciate all the empathy and kindness that people have shown me but it's hard for anyone to really get the emotions I'm going through, or what I need to hear. I find myself having to cheer them up, or put on a positive spin. It's hard to just relax and be myself in some ways. It was good to be able to talk to someone who just knew what it all meant. But also someone who has come through the experience. It's going to be a hard road ahead, so it was encouraging to see what recovery looks like. That I will be able to be active. And while my life may not ever be the same again, that it will all be okay in time.
It's been a few years since her cancer experience but she said she still found it hard to deal with the emotional side, although she could discuss the technical details more easily. Unlike me, her cancer was not caught in early stages. She had discovered a lump but because she didn't fit the profile for breast cancer, it went unchecked for a year. It makes me realize that it can be random luck of the draw that you get a physician who does the appropriate follow up. It's so easy to just fall through the cracks. And while I don't know about Carla's experience, I do think it's easy for women to feel like they "shouldn't make a fuss" or to be uncomfortable asking a lot of questions. It's hard to be your own advocate, but at the same time - if we had a system that worked, it wouldn't be necessary either.
It was good to hear about the logistic details from someone who has been through the experience in the same health care system. The internet is good for finding information but it doesn't necessarily match. Some sites say you can expect to have drains in for up to 2 weeks, others say they're only in for a couple days. It's hard to know what to expect. And also an honest answer about how much pain it might involve. Again, pain can be different for every person but it helps to have kind of a "ballpark" so to speak.
Mostly it was just nice to talk to someone who really, truly understands what I'm going through. I appreciate all the empathy and kindness that people have shown me but it's hard for anyone to really get the emotions I'm going through, or what I need to hear. I find myself having to cheer them up, or put on a positive spin. It's hard to just relax and be myself in some ways. It was good to be able to talk to someone who just knew what it all meant. But also someone who has come through the experience. It's going to be a hard road ahead, so it was encouraging to see what recovery looks like. That I will be able to be active. And while my life may not ever be the same again, that it will all be okay in time.