Today was my last day of work for the next six weeks. Things are always frantically productive when you're trying to wrap things up and hand things over. I've been putting in extra hours the last couple days to try and get it all ready. It had to be done but I can't say it's how I would have wanted to spend these last few days before my surgery. Time has suddenly become a precious commodity.
It was a little overwhelming today. I love all the kind and heartfelt expressions of sympathy and cheer but the introvert in me found it difficult to process so many of them in so short a time. I think my headspace is one where I just want to hide in my corner and lick my wounds. The closer the surgery date becomes, the more on edge I am.
Still, the day did have some wonderfully ludicrous moments that had an odd way of cheering me up. There was the very sweet colleague (she's truly a lovely person) who gave me a notebook and told me (with all sincerity) that she knew I would write a hilarious book about cancer some day. Well...okay. I guess anything is possible. But at this moment in time, there is absolutely nothing I find hilarious about it. I'm in kind of a dark head space right now. But I appreciate her faith in my ability to laugh and find humour in even the hardest circumstances. It's always nice when people think you're better than you are.
Then there was another colleague who brought this in to "cheer me up":
It was a little overwhelming today. I love all the kind and heartfelt expressions of sympathy and cheer but the introvert in me found it difficult to process so many of them in so short a time. I think my headspace is one where I just want to hide in my corner and lick my wounds. The closer the surgery date becomes, the more on edge I am.
Still, the day did have some wonderfully ludicrous moments that had an odd way of cheering me up. There was the very sweet colleague (she's truly a lovely person) who gave me a notebook and told me (with all sincerity) that she knew I would write a hilarious book about cancer some day. Well...okay. I guess anything is possible. But at this moment in time, there is absolutely nothing I find hilarious about it. I'm in kind of a dark head space right now. But I appreciate her faith in my ability to laugh and find humour in even the hardest circumstances. It's always nice when people think you're better than you are.
Then there was another colleague who brought this in to "cheer me up":
I don't even know what to say about this. It's the thought that counts but I'm kind of terrified as to what exactly this thought might be.
Another two friends vowed to wear pink bracelets until I was back to work. Tsk tsk - violating my "no pink ribbon crap" stance. But if it provides them some measure of comfort, then have at 'er. I don't expect it will make me feel any better about losing my breasts. But still - it's always nice to know people are thinking of you.
The day ended with drinks at Boffins. I usually don't go to those kinds of things but I decided to put in an appearance. It wasn't a farewell but a goodbye for now. Now I need to focus on myself for a bit.
Another two friends vowed to wear pink bracelets until I was back to work. Tsk tsk - violating my "no pink ribbon crap" stance. But if it provides them some measure of comfort, then have at 'er. I don't expect it will make me feel any better about losing my breasts. But still - it's always nice to know people are thinking of you.
The day ended with drinks at Boffins. I usually don't go to those kinds of things but I decided to put in an appearance. It wasn't a farewell but a goodbye for now. Now I need to focus on myself for a bit.