For my reconstruction, I opted for the breast implant route. I still think it was the right decision for me, and I'm glad that I didn't go with using body tissue from my stomach or back. But like many things in life (getting a puppy, for example) if I had known what it really involved - I might not have had to the courage to do it.
Breast reconstruction with implants is a two-step process. The first step involves tissue expanders. Because all my breast tissue was removed, they can't just pop in implants they way they would with a breast enhancement surgery. Instead, they have to stretch the tissue out over a period of weeks (or months - I'm not sure how long it will take) until I'm at the size I want. From there, they'll pop out the expanders and put in the implants (which is a piece of cake from what I've heard, compared to the rest of the process).
The expanders are under my chest muscles (the pecs). It feels like having Tupperware shoved in my chest, with a really tight bra on top that I can never take off. So, uncomfortable. I'm a side sleeper and it's not restful being on my back so much. (Once more I'm grateful I'm not a stomach sleeper because that would be hell.) The nerve endings are still kind of messed up, so I get odd twinges and a very painful (and random) stabbing, burning pain in my back. My chest muscles spasm every time I move the wrong way or stretch too much, and it feels like the expanders are shifting.
I'm getting used to it but the first few days I wondered if I would really be able to get through this process. I found myself wishing that I had opted to not have reconstruction. But those were the dark moments. As challenging as this may be, I'm too young to go through my life without breasts. I want to still feel like myself again. It's just going to be a hard road to get there.
Breast reconstruction with implants is a two-step process. The first step involves tissue expanders. Because all my breast tissue was removed, they can't just pop in implants they way they would with a breast enhancement surgery. Instead, they have to stretch the tissue out over a period of weeks (or months - I'm not sure how long it will take) until I'm at the size I want. From there, they'll pop out the expanders and put in the implants (which is a piece of cake from what I've heard, compared to the rest of the process).
The expanders are under my chest muscles (the pecs). It feels like having Tupperware shoved in my chest, with a really tight bra on top that I can never take off. So, uncomfortable. I'm a side sleeper and it's not restful being on my back so much. (Once more I'm grateful I'm not a stomach sleeper because that would be hell.) The nerve endings are still kind of messed up, so I get odd twinges and a very painful (and random) stabbing, burning pain in my back. My chest muscles spasm every time I move the wrong way or stretch too much, and it feels like the expanders are shifting.
I'm getting used to it but the first few days I wondered if I would really be able to get through this process. I found myself wishing that I had opted to not have reconstruction. But those were the dark moments. As challenging as this may be, I'm too young to go through my life without breasts. I want to still feel like myself again. It's just going to be a hard road to get there.